When coaching and training leaders, emotional intelligence is often a point of discussion. For some, the word ‘emotion’ is still regarded as a weakness. There’s a belief that, as a leader, you need to be strong and strategic, keeping emotions under wraps. Yet, research shows a correlation between emotional intelligence in leaders and team success. So, I want to explore this leadership skill in greater depth.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Let’s start with the fact that every human experiences emotions. Our daily life triggers a complex blend of innate feelings, designed to help us safely navigate our world. Certain events, behaviours, sensory stimuli and reactions cause us to be instinctively repulsed, delighted, angered, proud, disappointed and more.
Emotional intelligence is an awareness and acceptance of these emotions. It is an understanding of what causes us to feel a certain way and the impact that has on us. This awareness offers the opportunity to take control of our emotions, rather than allowing them to control us. As a result, an initial feeling of frustration can be calmed, so we can focus on solutions, rather than letting it spiral into anger.
In addition to self-awareness and regulation, emotional intelligence is the recognition of emotions in others. When we can read the room or recognise the feelings of others, we can adapt our approach and communications accordingly. We can see the scenario from other people’s perspectives, which is known as empathy. By adapting our approach, we are better able to create connections and shape thinking.
Why Is Emotional Intelligence An Essential Leadership Skill?
A review of studies* identified correlations between emotional intelligence and:
- Team member attitudes
- Leader effectiveness
- Management and influence of team and individual performance
- Ability to handle conflict effectively
Let’s consider how emotional intelligence comes into play in five areas of leadership.
Effective Communication
Let’s start with communication and timing. Being in tune with those around us informs the appropriate time to deliver a specific message to get the best outcome. As a leader, that’s a great skill to apply to communications with colleagues, clients, suppliers and stakeholders.
With emotional awareness, you can adapt your communication style to best fit the situation, the team or the individual. For example, you enter a meeting with an agenda, yet recognise that there is a bigger issue that needs to be shared and resolved first. Do you plough on regardless or use the time to enquire about, understand and respond to what’s on the minds of those present?
Building Trust
When people feel understood, respected and engaged, it builds trust. As a leader, this improves the perception of you as approachable, fair and informed. For the team, trust is fundamental in creating a positive and psychologically safe working environment. For clients and prospects, trust is essential for gaining and retaining their business.
Building trust is at the core of social engagement, and we all know that people buy from people. Equally, it encourages collaborative, rather than competitive, working relationships, which are great for sustainable business growth. Is trust at the heart of your team and client relationships?
Filling Skill Gaps
When leaders are emotionally self-aware, they know what they are good at and what causes them frustration and stress. Equally, they are better able to recognise where others shine or where they flounder. As a result, emotionally intelligent leaders are better equipped to recruit a diverse team to fill skill gaps and grow personal and team skills through training and development.
Do you know what work excites and fulfils your team members, along with what they dread? Does this inform your delegation and allocation of tasks, as well as the training, resources and support that you offer them?
Managing Performance
A primary leadership skill is getting the most from your team, and this is driven by emotional intelligence. An effective way to manage performance is to engage the team in your vision and involve them in the plan. That means you, the leader, have to trust the capabilities and their desire to contribute. It also depends on an understanding of their motivations and priorities.
When employees do step up, it’s about delivering those positive emotional responses. Give them recognition, thanks and praise. However, it is also important to speak with those who aren’t productive. What is holding them back?
There will be times when you need to take a firm, assertive approach. This includes when employees are not complying with company policies, as well as conflict resolution and disciplinary issues. Staying in control of emotions is crucial to handling these difficult conversations. Emotional control is distinct from emotional suppression. Is it something that you have mastered?
Talent Retention
Employees are more likely to remain loyal to a company where they feel valued and have a sense of job satisfaction. In addition, they are more likely to stay if there is a supportive company culture, especially if there is some flexibility that enables them to manage other commitments.
Yes, salary is important, yet there would be no volunteers or people in roles like nursing if money is the only motivator. Leaders with emotional intelligence realise employees want to stay where they feel they belong. They also view employee well-being as part of the company’s sustainability strategy.
For the neurodivergent employees in your team, reading the room and regulating emotions is often a challenge. By understanding their perspective and adapting your communication style, managers can provide effective support in line with your company’s Neurodiversity Policy. This will help to get the best from the whole team and retain this talent.
What measures have you put in place to create a positive and inclusive working environment?
When Are Emotions Perceived As Weakness In Business?
There is a distinction between being emotional and being emotionally intelligent. The difference is regulation. If you are quick to anger and go around huffing and shouting, it will be perceived as a weakness of character. Yet, if you acknowledge that you feel angry, but pause to think before you act and approach the situation with reason, that’s emotional intelligence.
At the same time, if a colleague confides in you about a difficult situation and you cry, the response can leave them feeling awkward and guilty. That’s not what they want from a leader. Yet, feeling sad, but controlling your emotions and focusing on the needs of that individual, is emotional intelligence.
That’s not to say that you have to suppress those emotions. You may need to release that anger with a good workout at the gym, or shed tears to a poignant song in the car. It’s just recognising the appropriate time and place.
How to Develop Emotional Intelligence
So, emotional intelligence is a strength that builds trusted relationships, boosts productivity and retains talent. Yet, many leaders never receive training in how to be more emotionally intelligent. However, I want to assure you that you can develop this skill, so here are four options:
Pause & Reflect – When you’ve calmed from an emotional reaction, pause and reflect. What triggered that response? Did your reaction demonstrate emotional regulation? How could you have handled that situation differently?
Build Awareness – Read about emotional intelligence or complete a virtual e-learning module to address a particular leadership challenge. Take a look at my CPD-accredited e-learning offer, which includes emotional intelligence in modules such as Managing Performance and Psychological Safety.
Invest in Coaching – In leadership coaching, I help individuals consider different responses and the impact that they have on the team. This includes techniques to support emotional regulation to boost your performance and that of your team.
Finally, I’m interested to know your recommendations for those who wish to build empathy and emotional self-awareness.
How do others view your leadership style? I offer a feedback training module to help you accept this insight constructively and use it to inform changes to your approach.
I’d love to hear from you if you want to know more about developing an emotionally intelligent workforce. Call 07775 624724 or email info@suegarner.co.uk.